The War of Depression is not one battle with dark days, weeks or months. It is a war waging within one’s mind perhaps everlasting. The demons of unwavering conviction taunt long after one’s release from medical and psychological treatment. It is not a disease to be cured, for there is no such thing. The unrelenting bruises and infinite scars remain long after all treatment has ended. One could say that death shall be the only release.
So easy it is, when in such a state of mind, to forget so much of your life. So easy it is to lose track of who you were, are, or ever wanted to be. It is in this fog of illusion that one forgets others exist and that you are not a man among manikins. You lose track of what is real and what is the trickery of your own subconscious mind. In this abandonment of sanity the thoughts and feelings of those who love you, if not said enough, no longer pass through your own thoughts. You begin to feel alone, see no one around you and soon the vastness of a crowded room seems so vacant. People who you once loved and cared for seem to be nothing more than ghosts and remnants of a dream long gone. Anyone without the proper approach becomes your enemy and you lose trust in them. Best friends become enemies, but none as evil as yourself.
The unavoidable temptation of death is always but a fleeting moment away. At the time it seems nothing else is logical. No answer, no phrase, no harsh words can ever alter such a set mind. An attitude of anger will do nothing in saving of a man in ruin, for digging the hole deeper will only force them down farther and further from salvation.
So many people, who’ve never experienced depression, misunderstand how you should treat a person plagued by it. They believe that a person can be forced out of it, or can just simply be happy and it will go away. They believe that if given unending tasks they will not think about being depressed and therefore be cured. They believe that one chooses such a life. How wrong they are.
No other human can save you from your depression if you do not want to be saved. That much is true. But when you want help, when you want to regain your footing, chances are you cannot do it alone. The actions of caring individuals can play a major role in the recovery of a suicidal depressive. In fact, they may be surprised at how much so little can do for a person suffering from it. We may not be in our right mind, but we react to every little thing happening around us and we can blow it out of proportion. So if the action is small, but good, it can have a big impact on us.
This essay is available as an audio track on SoundCloud: