Category: All

All essays publicly available.

The Dying Light of Unrequited Love

The Dying Light of Unrequited Love We spend most of our lives trying to emotionally connect with other people, only to realize that we cannot emotionally connect with most of the people we meet. I could probably write a book about the experiences I’ve…

Freckles: Chapter Eighteen

Evan announced that he was done eating by burping loudly in my direction and giving me a half-ass grin, as if to gloat about eating more than me.  For being so skinny the kid put down more slices than I could comfortably consume.  I…

Liberation and a Return to the Sacred

“Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.” ~Gary Snyder Liberation and a Return to the Sacred Buddhism has a long history with the forest.  Siddhartha Gautama fled the comforts of the Shakya Kingdom and immersed himself with the lands beyond to…

The Perfect Life

The Perfect Life: An Unexpected Loss In order to protect the identity of his family, I will only refer to the young man in this article as “A.J.” A.J. was in his senior year of high school, where he was active in sports, playing…

Love Me Not

Love Me Not: A Conversation About Mental Health & Relationships If you’ve read my previous work, you know that I’m often very personal and brutally honest about my experiences and my mistakes.  This essay will be no different. I want to share with you…

Chasing the Westward Sun

Chasing the Westward Sun: One Week and 3,500 Miles In the summer of 2017 I went on a one-week 3,500 mile road trip through Kansas, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, and North Dakota. The road trip had spawned after the death of my mom the year…

Life After

Recovery for me is a multi-faceted term. It means acknowledging my behavioral condition, understanding it and understanding that I and it are not one in the same – that I am more than my condition. It means that I recognize the signs and symptoms…

The Past That’s Not Forgotten

[Warning: this article discusses the sexual assault of men and boys and may not be appropriate for readers under the age of thirteen] The Past That’s Not Forgotten According to the advocacy group Protect Our Defenders, 54% of reported sexual assault victims in the U.S….

In the Twilight of Memory

In the Twilight of Memory Calling to me in the distance, I can hear them all say my name. Reaching out from the past, from moments that used to be. I drift beyond the precipice of wakefulness, I let go of my consciousness and…

Out of the Darkness

My name is Kephen Merancis and there’s really no easy way to start the conversation that we need to have. It takes a lot of courage to break the wall of silence that stigma builds. It takes at least a little bit of hope…