Tag: Depression

Out of the Darkness

My name is Kephen Merancis and there’s really no easy way to start the conversation that we need to have. It takes a lot of courage to break the wall of silence that stigma builds. It takes at least a little bit of hope…

U.S. Behavioral Health and the Workplace

According to the American Psychiatric Association Foundation, employees with depression miss on average 31.4 days per year and an additional 27.9 days of unproductivity when they report for work, but are unable to focus due to the symptoms of depression. Various studies show that…

Alone In The Dark

An Educational Report by Kephen Merancis Introduction This report is intended to educate the public on the risk of suicide in those under the age of fifteen. It is my hope and my intention that through education and awareness, we can stem the rise…

The Choice That Never Was

  The Choice That Never Was I wanted to believe that my work of writing about this topic had since passed and that I would never again have to write in defense of it, of us, of the nature of our being.  Unfortunately we…

In Search of Self

In Search of Self Over the years I’ve learned that the most potent of personal feelings can be the most consoling and relatable to other people who are going through their own hardships. So without even knowing it, you can touch the lives of…

It’s Been A While

It’s Been A While August 19, 2016 I haven’t posted anything on here in quite some time.  Furthermore, I haven’t typed anything extensive that would garner being posted.  The year 2016 has been a harsh one, not just for me, but also for other…

The Darklord

I feel it now, in the distance, that slow advance of the cold, pressing forwards and retreating as if to test the walls of my castle.  It comes at dawn and dusk, settles upon me in an eerie breath of darkness the way the…

In My Own Words

**Note: this essay was written in 2012, I no longer identify under the label “gay”.  The word has too many restrictions, connotations, stereotypes and unintended meanings. July 2, 2012 In My Own Words It is fundamentally important to understand that people choose their religious…

If You Could Only See

(Please note that this piece was written prior to the Federal Supreme Court decision ruling it unconstitutional to deny same-sex couples the right to marry.) For a very long time, I’ve wanted to be able to write something that spelled out exactly why civil…

Here and There, Now and Then

January 29, 2012 It’s no secret that I’m unhappy with my life. Clearly, I need to do something about that. What isn’t so obvious to me, is what I need to do. I’m unhappy with my personal life and I’m unhappy with my professional…

Self-Reflection: To End A Cold, Damp Day

September 18, 2011 Self-Reflection: To End A Cold, Damp Day If ever there was something that I could call my own, something that I could say was my niche in life, this would be it. What I’m doing right now, this act is the…

Two Journeys, One Life

March 27, 2011 I was born on the 14th of November 1985 to Catholic German Americans. On one August night in the year 1996, a black hand would descend upon me, leaving behind a scar that would forever alter the direction of my life….

The Demon In Me

January 2, 2011 The Demon In Me Everything is black, save the sparks of sanity within; the buzz in my head, a melody of self-deprivation or rather the hum of degradation.  I look around and the darkness prevails, always the melancholy thought, but dammit I…

Through My Eyes

November 29, 2010 “Because everywhere I go there is a world that doesn’t understand.” I would give up the rest of my life to show you how it feels, to make you see life through my eyes. If even for a moment, I could…

A Letter on the Intrinsic Threads of the Human Heart

October 2, 2010 Dear Whomever, For half a decade I have been sharing my deepest and often times my darkest thoughts with anyone who has wandered onto my path. I have shared my life, my private thoughts and my most personal of emotions in…

These Walls, That Shadow, Those Memories and This Soul

September 10, 2010 These Walls, that Shadow, those Memories, and this Soul How do you heal a man who’s pain is inside his head, a pain that transcends flesh and bone? Behind these walls of distrust and shame, hidden so far deep inside of…

Depression and Iron: A Love Story

February 28, 2010 Many years ago I picked up a barbell for the first time after watching my brothers do the same. It only weighed between 10 and 20 lbs, but this one instance would lead to many more for years to come and…

Asylum of My Mind: A Beckoning to Darker Places

November 30, 2009 Asylum of My Mind: A Beckoning to Darker Places A subtle flickering of light in my head, a missed revelation to coming events. For a moment I think to myself that it’s nothing at all, just something for today. It won’t…

My Heart in the Sun

August 2008 My Heart in the Sun So long ago a journey to forget all the things that I had remembered, began with the kiss of poison in a cup.  Embarked upon in the name of hope and peace, like banners in the sky,…

The Sun Will Rise Again

November 2007 The Sun Will Rise Again Reading about or hearing the stories of people who are or who once fought with depression makes me remember my own dark days. Looking back now, it’s hard to believe that I was once that far down,…

From Under the Thumbs of Demons

August 2007 From Under the Thumbs of Demons When writing so much about depression, one would begin to think that they have written all there is to know. But like the face of depression, new things are often discovered and brought into the light…

A Letter To My Sister

July 2007 (This letter has been edited for privacy reasons.) Dear Sister, I hope that this night of July 24, 2007, my words can be of service to you, a glimmer of comfort upon your aching heart, a wave of love unbound, pouring forth…

The Poet’s Path: A Life of Pain

July 2007 The Poet’s Path: A Life of Pain Never does a day pass by that I don’t think about the things that happened leading up to today. During those moments in time they didn’t seem to be all that important, but now looking…

Premonitions and Restitution

July 2007 Premonitions and Restitution Looking back now at how far I have come and yet seeing in that time span an equal amount of uneventfulness, I cannot feel anything more than incomplete, unsatisfied and without fulfillment. These past few days inside my mind,…

Playing Chess With Demons

May 2007 Playing Chess With Demons Writing about depression is not always easy to do. I feel as though the topic is extremely important, I know it so well and yet to really nail down the key points I want to make on the…