Tag Archives: Depression

Alone In The Dark

Alone In The Dark: Why Children Commit Suicide and How to Prevent It According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, from the year 2000 to the year 2014, more than 530,000 Americans committed suicide.  In the year 2014 … Continue reading

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The Choice That Never Was

  The Choice That Never Was I wanted to believe that my work of writing about this topic had since passed and that I would never again have to write in defense of it, of us, of the nature of … Continue reading

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In Search of Self

In Search of Self Over the years I’ve learned that the most potent of personal feelings can be the most consoling and relatable to other people who are going through their own hardships. So without even knowing it, you can … Continue reading

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It’s Been A While

It’s Been A While August 19, 2016 I haven’t posted anything on here in quite some time.  Furthermore, I haven’t typed anything extensive that would garner being posted.  The year 2016 has been a harsh one, not just for me, … Continue reading

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The Darklord

I feel it now, in the distance, that slow advance of the cold, pressing forwards and retreating as if to test the walls of my castle.  It comes at dawn and dusk, settles upon me in an eerie breath of … Continue reading

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In My Own Words

**Note: this essay was written in 2012, I no longer identify under the label “gay”.  The word has too many restrictions, connotations, stereotypes and unintended meanings. July 2, 2012 In My Own Words It is fundamentally important to understand that … Continue reading

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If You Could Only See

(Please note that this piece was written prior to the Federal Supreme Court decision ruling it unconstitutional to deny same-sex couples the right to marry.) For a very long time, I’ve wanted to be able to write something that spelled … Continue reading

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Here and There, Now and Then

January 29, 2012 It’s no secret that I’m unhappy with my life. Clearly, I need to do something about that. What isn’t so obvious to me, is what I need to do. I’m unhappy with my personal life and I’m … Continue reading

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Self-Reflection: To End A Cold, Damp Day

September 18, 2011 Self-Reflection: To End A Cold, Damp Day If ever there was something that I could call my own, something that I could say was my niche in life, this would be it. What I’m doing right now, … Continue reading

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Two Journeys, One Life

March 27, 2011 I was born on the 14th of November 1985 to Catholic German Americans. On one August night in the year 1996, a black hand would descend upon me, leaving behind a scar that would forever alter the … Continue reading

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The Demon In Me

January 2, 2011 The Demon In Me Everything is black, save the sparks of sanity within; the buzz in my head, a melody of self-deprivation or rather the hum of degradation.  I look around and the darkness prevails, always the melancholy … Continue reading

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Through My Eyes

November 29, 2010 “Because everywhere I go there is a world that doesn’t understand.” I would give up the rest of my life to show you how it feels, to make you see life through my eyes. If even for … Continue reading

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A Letter on the Intrinsic Threads of the Human Heart

October 2, 2010 Dear Whomever, For half a decade I have been sharing my deepest and often times my darkest thoughts with anyone who has wandered onto my path. I have shared my life, my private thoughts and my most … Continue reading

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These Walls, That Shadow, Those Memories and This Soul

September 10, 2010 These Walls, that Shadow, those Memories, and this Soul How do you heal a man who’s pain is inside his head, a pain that transcends flesh and bone? Behind these walls of distrust and shame, hidden so … Continue reading

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Depression and Iron: A Love Story

February 28, 2010 Many years ago I picked up a barbell for the first time after watching my brothers do the same. It only weighed between 10 and 20 lbs, but this one instance would lead to many more for … Continue reading

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Asylum of My Mind: A Beckoning to Darker Places

November 30, 2009 Asylum of My Mind: A Beckoning to Darker Places A subtle flickering of light in my head, a missed revelation to coming events. For a moment I think to myself that it’s nothing at all, just something … Continue reading

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My Heart in the Sun

August 2008 My Heart in the Sun So long ago a journey to forget all the things that I had remembered, began with the kiss of poison in a cup.  Embarked upon in the name of hope and peace, like … Continue reading

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The Sun Will Rise Again

November 2007 The Sun Will Rise Again Reading about or hearing the stories of people who are or who once fought with depression makes me remember my own dark days. Looking back now, it’s hard to believe that I was … Continue reading

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From Under the Thumbs of Demons

August 2007 From Under the Thumbs of Demons When writing so much about depression, one would begin to think that they have written all there is to know. But like the face of depression, new things are often discovered and … Continue reading

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A Letter To My Sister

July 2007 (This letter has been edited for privacy reasons.) Dear Sister, I hope that this night of July 24, 2007, my words can be of service to you, a glimmer of comfort upon your aching heart, a wave of … Continue reading

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The Poet’s Path: A Life of Pain

July 2007 The Poet’s Path: A Life of Pain Never does a day pass by that I don’t think about the things that happened leading up to today. During those moments in time they didn’t seem to be all that … Continue reading

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Premonitions and Restitution

July 2007 Premonitions and Restitution Looking back now at how far I have come and yet seeing in that time span an equal amount of uneventfulness, I cannot feel anything more than incomplete, unsatisfied and without fulfillment. These past few … Continue reading

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Playing Chess With Demons

May 2007 Playing Chess With Demons Writing about depression is not always easy to do. I feel as though the topic is extremely important, I know it so well and yet to really nail down the key points I want … Continue reading

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The War of Depression: A Synopsis

March 2007 The War of Depression: A Synopsis The War of Depression is not one battle with dark days, weeks or months. It is a war waging within one’s mind perhaps everlasting. The demons of unwavering conviction taunt long after … Continue reading

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